Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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