It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
