ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
