Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I love having hate sex.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
