hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
