So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
