My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
