I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
