I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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