gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Randomize
