I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
