Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
