no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
