Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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