guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
