I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Semen is not good for contacts.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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