I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
