Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
