Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
