I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
