I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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