why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
