Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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