I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You were trust falling into bushes
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
