do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
it's great music for shaving your balls
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
