He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
