no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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