Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
