11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
id be glad to
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
