I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
