Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
