But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
