She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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