you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Couch. On fire.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
