Where is the hickey?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
