Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
