i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
