Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
