There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
