Is it normal to miss your booty call?
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
