I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
