Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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