We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
