1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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