So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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