i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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