I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
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