I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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