so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
