Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
