guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
