Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
