I need help removing her.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
