I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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